Yo...Polako!

Pozdravi World! Goodness me I've been terribly busy. Hmm...let me take you back about a week or so and we shall start from there =D ....dobro?!?

Okay so last week I was in Vienna participating in a musical history tour type event. Our days were jam packed full of running all around the city, visiting various composers' former abodes, attending fancy productions and whatnot- basically familiarizing ourselves with all of Vienna's finest music related aesthetics. Most times in these types of situations, when I'm out for a good 14 hours per day, just hopping from place to place, it's unfortunately really easy for me to slip into a numbed type state of mind; everything becomes this weird sort of blur and it's hard for me to acutely concentrate, or appreciate what it is I'm actually experiencing. I'm the type of person that likes to take it slow and notice the subtleties of my surroundings. For it's when you uncover what's below the surface that you can fully treasure the beauty of a place. So I took it slow, promising myself that no matter how fast-paced the group wanted the trip to be, I was going to fully let my time in Vienna sink into my memory. And that's just what I did.

When we visited Strauss' apartment, for instance, I wandered into the bedroom, took a look around, noticing a beat-up pair of headphones located on a shelf, with a chair conveniently placed adjacent to the wall. I picked them up, thinking of all who might have had them on before me, sat down, positioned them over my hat on my head, pressed play and shut my eyes. It was a waltz- Strauss' signature. As I listened I tried to ignore the clamoring feet and bodies romping from room to room, taking short-lived glances at some note or artifact placed on a wall, and then moving on, forgetting almost immediately what they had just read or seen. I simply thought of Strauss. I imagined him with his violin; dancing. It was surreal for me to think about the fact that I was in the very room where the dude himself had at one time composed the very pieces of music that I was now enjoying. I opened my eyes and looked up at the illustrations hanging on the walls throughout the room. Each one pictured large masses of people, joyfully lining around the violinist with huge chops and a childish smirk on his face. It was obvious he was proud of the liberating effect his music had on others. It was neat. I smiled along with him.

The trip was full of moments like these. Moments where I truly felt infinite...and simply couldn't help but grin at life's wholesome blessings. 

One day we had the opportunity to go have a picnic at one of Vienna's palace gardens. We placed ourselves right on the hillside that overlooks into this massive area that's just this sea of beautifully colorful flowers. As each of us were unpacking our sandwiches, gleefully stuffing them with doritos and drooling over the rare sight that is dr pepper, I thought to myself, "Hey man, enjoy this. You're experiencing a truly memorable moment. Put yourself in the now." So, I got out my pipe and took a mental note; God's so good.

And I must say I've been in the highest of spirits as of late. Since we've gotten back from Vienna I've begun to feel way more at home. Not that I was weighed down by a sense severe anxiety or anything before I went away... but since being back in Bosnia, I just feel as if this is where God truly called me to be for the year. I suppose reinforced, spiritual encouragement would be a more accurate description. But nonetheless, I'm so pumped to be where I'm at....and I couldn't love being with the Summays any more than I do. They some dang good peoples they are =] 

So ya...just been living as "polako" as I possibly can live. I've come to realize the fact that it's more of a lifestyle than a simple word. Just taking it easy, slowing down, living life for what it is and not stressing. Visiting with friends without an agenda or reason; simply for the sake of intimate community. Counting all of your blessings and not overlooking the significance to each passing moment. It really is a valuable way to live. One that I hope to harness and carry with me. 

Well folks, if you ever want to chat, my skype is "caleb.gill" ...I don't think I had mentioned that on here before, so I just wanted to make it available to anyone interested. I'd love to stay in touch and tell you virtual face to virtual face some of the random things that I'm experiencing, that oftentimes I refrain from blogging about. There's a lot that happens and I'd love to share it with you. Love yeinz. 

Grace and Peace,

Kaleb

...Oh and I promise to stay more up to date with this whole blogging thing. The past week was just a lot of GO! GO! GO! ;D

(if you'd like to see more pictures from my trip...go here! http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=105511&id=1240636878)

Weekly Summation

Holy Wowzers! It's been a week since I posted last. What in the world have I been up to? Hmm...


I pooped a whole lot. Actually everyone did. They all blame me though for bringing the hostile stomach bug into the house...which I probably did but that's beside the point =P The only thing that matters is that everyone is finally fine and dandy. No more shoving each other out of the way in sprint to the toilet.


Beth, Becky and I went out and picked apples off the tree one afternoon. Of course all of the ripest and most delicious looking ones were at the tip top, so I got to shimmy up up up to do some pickin'. It was super fun. I really enjoy climbing trees...and it was just an added bonus that I got some tasty apples out of it.


Thursday, Friday and Saturday were Bajram (the ending of the Ramadan season and a big time for festivities among Muslim culture). It was my first time experiencing this time of year at a place where it was the primary focus of interest, so it was exciting! Three days of continual firecracker blasts, perpetual cake eating, and frequent people visiting. It was awesome! I think my favorite part about the whole time though was when Edin received his present. The Summays somehow had a connection to where they were next in line to receive this bird that had been past around from missionary to missionary...not even really sure what the logistics were... they're irrelevant. Anyways, it had been decided that ten-year-old Edin was to have the bird. And when he got it I don't know if he could have been happier. He came all around the room thanking and giving out kisses, then spent a solid twenty minutes just staring at Miki Zusto (i think that's the name he settled on, but i could be way off. this is at least part of what I caught from the Bosnian that was being said) =D


Speaking of which, I haven't had language class since my last post due to the fact that my teacher's been out of town. But good thing he loaded me down with a considerable amount of material to learn in his absence. I'm really taking pleasure in trying to learn the language though. I think slowly but surely it's going to pay off.




Introduced the Summays to Into the Wild the other day. Don't really know how they responded to it, but I love that movie. And every time I watch it I pick up on something new...whether it be a thought-provoking quote that I didn't quite catch the last time I watched it, or have I some weird, resounding epiphany on the meaning of what living a healthy, organically spiritual life looks like.


As for right now, I'm sitting in Vienna in awe of the city that I have the privilege of visiting for the next several days. Today I visited some amazing cathedrals (just in time to observe some Austrian mass), visited Beth at the hospital (she checked in early this morning for her next round of treatment...prayers prayers prayers!), walked around trying to get a feel for, and noticing differences of yet another new culture (all the while joking around with Becky in our spot on german accents...ha!), ate a bratwurst where the bread was cored out, filled with mustard, then packed with a big ol' juicy brat, explored the public transportation system, started reading Watership Down again for about the third or fourth time, ate a yummy kabob, pinched Jeff's butt cos Becky dared me to, saw cool, old city ruins, sampled some Austrian beer, and...reworked my essays that I wrote for the music history field trip that I'm participating in next week. All in all it was a memorable day. First time in Vienna! Can't wait for tomorrow!


Grace and Peace,


Kaleb

A Bite to Chew On

I realized it had been a couple days since my last post, so I thought I'd fill everyone in on what's been happening.

So I'm laying here, trying to fall asleep, and once again I have to poop. The past few days have been rather draining, so you could say. I suppose I ate something that my body didn't find too pleasing...because frequently have I been rushing to the toilet to explosively relieve myself. I hope it all settles soon...especially since we're going to Sarajevo tomorrow, and I want to fully experience this amazing Indian restaurant that Beth keeps raving about. I'm pretty excited about traveling to Bosnia's capital. It'll be my first time out of Zenica since I arrived in it. And it'll just be neat seeing more of the country.

Language classes have been super! Sladan is laying it on pretty thick, giving me lots of material to practice and learn. And at times I don't even know where to begin trying to take it all in. But the seemingly thousands of flash cards that I made are very helpful. As is frequent practice with actual native speakers...who would thunk it? I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay that i don't understand what's being said most of the time though. It will come. I've not even been here three weeks yet...wow...

Since the Summay's introduction to stupidhead, we've been playing essentially nonstop. Jeff especially seems to enjoy it. Busting out the cards, shuffling and dealing seemingly out of habit, without even consulting us about wanting to play or not. But I'm certainly not complaining. I think out of all the games we've played so far I've only been stupidhead twice. Which is a fantastic winning percentage if only you knew how many times we've played haha. But man is it fun. Today Jeff was stupidhead at least 7 times in a row...which has got to be a new record ;D It was entertaining rubbing it in his face.

Other than that and visiting people for chatting and coffee, I haven't been up to much. A couple nights ago however I did have this crazy vivid dream which I think I'll share with you cos it's constantly been in my thoughts ever since I awoke from it...

So, it began with me in a room. It was dimly lit (of course) and I was sitting in a chair facing the wall. I couldn't make out much, but I quickly realized that I was bleeding from the mouth and when I put my hands up to try and stop the bleeding I noticed that I was missing all of my teeth. (at this point I should have woken up because this is no good way to start off a dream, but that didn't happen) As you would imagine I completely freaked out and began searching all over the room for clues as to why I would have lost, or had pulled from me, all of my teeth. And all over the room were these photographs- surprisingly vivid pictures of scenes that quite frankly, were not very pleasing to me. They were all of memories, and times that I try to suppress and not ever think about. So when I saw them, as you can imagine, I was hit with intense confusion and fear. It was like everything that I had ever regretted happening was staring me in the face. But then I realized what they all meant. (It's weird how in dreams you're so good at connecting the dots to things that don't seem to correlate at all) But it occurred to me that each picture was an indicator to the placement of each of my missing teeth. And if I wanted them back, I needed to go revisit my past... So next thing I  know I'm off on this super frightening and emotional roller coaster through a bunch of memories, real memories, that I had tried to do away with cos of all the discomfort they bring- each one just a little bit more intense than the last...and in each one I'm gaining back another tooth. I won't go into any detail, because it would just take forever, but right as I'm about to visit "my final memory" I realize the purpose behind all of this. It wasn't about rectifying painful events or mistakes that had taken place in my past. In order to truly radiate a sincere smile, I must first understand the life lessons that come from the past and the trials I've experienced. It's these "learning mistakes" that made me into the man that I am today. There's no use in repressing the unfavorable times. Rather take from them what you can... smiling, cos you know you've made it this far and there's no redoing any of it. Tis a bite to chew on to say the least, and it was rather surreal waking up from it...

...so ya that's what I've been thinking about lately. It was interesting watching The Butterfly Effect today with all of that still on my mind =] Hope all is well!

Grace and Peace,

Kaleb

It's Not Everyday You See Manslaughter

I wonder if it takes seeing a dead guy laying in the middle of the road, with his leg severed and strewn several feet from his body, to remind yourself that life is a gift. No matter how tough or new or uncomfortable a situation gets...it is to be cherished and valued with great vigor and full appreciation. Today I saw the remains of a high speed collision where a car basically demolished a cyclist as he was turning through an intersection. The car was reported to have been going at a good 120 kilometers an hour, and upon impact essentially destroying the unfortunate man out for a day's ride in the brisk, August air. As we were passing by the scene, Beth spotted a man in handcuffs up on top of a hill, with several police men surrounding him. Apparently it was a hit and run. Can you believe that? It was almost sickening to see. My prayer is that the cyclist's family can find peace through this tragic situation. And as messed up and gruesome as the whole thing was, it got me to thinking. Parallel to moving here to a completely new place, efforting getting settled in and whatnot, I've also been struggling with letting go of something that should have been let go of long ago. To me, the investment of over two years of time and effort into something is a difficult thing to just let slip away, even when I'm quite aware it's certainly what's best for both parties. The past several weeks have been exceptionally tough. Just being able to clear my head and find some sort of comfort, has been overly complicating. Those who know me best know all the details of  what I'm talking about and I just want it to be known that I am doing well. Witnessing that scene today in the intersection had the complete opposite effect of desensitization. Rather than numbing me of my grief, it allowed me the opportunity of finding joy in it. Life's too short to dwell on the negative and hopeless situations. Take pride in the lessons you've learned, remember the good times, and progress. I believe I'm well on my way to progressing =]

So, before all that happened today however, I had my first language class with my awesome tutor Sladan (there's supposed to be a line through the "d" ...but I'm not sure how that's done on the computer). He has a degree in English and probably knows the ends and outs of the language far better than I do- so he's quite helpful when it comes to teaching. He's patient, yet straight forward, and knows exactly how far to push you in a two hour session. Today I finally learned the proper way to greet someone, how to introduce yourself, how to ask for someone else's name, age and such...oh and how to count all the way up to 10,001. He said he was only going to teach me up to 20 today, but i was "progressing very well," so we kept going. Sweet. On my walk home across town from his house I spent the entire time trying memorize and practice what I had just been taught. I probably looked like a total moron, strolling through crowds muttering to myself, addressing the occasional person with the passing "Dobar dan" (good day), then immediately referencing my notebook to make sure I'd done it correctly. The language is totally foreign in every aspect to me. It's certainly going to take some time getting used to, but hopefully with enough practice and effort, I'll be able to pick it up somewhat quickly and correctly. Also, I made it all the way back to the Summay's house without getting lost. So Kevin, I think I'm getting better with directions =P

Dude, Beth and Becky made fantastic chili and cornbread today for mealtime. I'm not really sure if it should be referred to as lunch or dinner, because I had it for both ;D ...and both times it was absurdly delicious. In a strange way, eating it made me feel at home. I suppose its just some weird cosmic connection, but every time I eat me some chili and cornbread I'm reminded off good times with family...and football. There wasn't much football action going on at the Summay's house today, but the night was filled with great laughter and some super stupidhead playing (or dickhead as becky so tactfully calls it). I'm glad I introduced them such amazing game, and they seem to enjoy playing it just as much as I do =] Dobro.

Grace and Peace,

Kaleb